Wicked: Unplugged and Slightly Messed up a bit
by princessOFdarkeness
Summary: This is a spoof in parts. Spoof or Parody or whatever you call this stuff. Never done one of these before but I wanted to try to write one. Hope you like it same basic story, just told a bit funnier in my oppinion.
1. Chapter 1

Okay, this is a little humor-type overview of Wicked. No, I don't really feel this way - I just wrote this to cheer up a little. This is the first spoof/parody I've done so don't be too dreadfully critical please. I did my best here! Well, I hope you like it!

It's sort of in script format because it's easier to read that way. Directions are in parrentsies and settings are told in italics. The blakc underlined is who's talking. Yes, I know the person reading this probably knows this and no, I'm not saying this to make you feel stupid. This is incase someone doesn't know how to read a script. I'm trying to be nice here. Maybe it's not working, but I can always dream.

On with the show!

**Wicked: Unplugged and Slightly Messed up... a little more than slightly**

_Beginning in OZ where Munchkins are assembled for no reason whatsoever but to be there apparently_

**Random Munchkin:** So did you catch the game last night?

**Other Munchkin:** No I was busy, was it good?

**Yet Another Mucnhkin:** It was cool. Our team lost though because you know... they suck...

**Little Short Munchkin Dude:** (Interupts interesting conversation above; met with much annoyance) Hey look a big pink bubble! Let's stand here and let it crush us to death!

**Glinda:** Hello Munkins! Stand in front of me and around me like a mob of angry villigers so I can bore you to death with my non stop talking about myself, okay?

**Collective Munkins:** Fine with us, go on.

**Glinda:** Look at me, I'm so pretty! La la la, blah blah blah, the world revolves around me! I love myself, don't you? Of course you do because it's me! La la la! Blah blah blah! ME!

**Cheeky Munchkin:** (Annoyed by her constant talking) Tell us about the Wicked Witch blonde!

**Glinda:** Alright, um she was kinda green.

**Munckin:** (quietly) No duh.

**Glinda:** Shut up shorty or I'll turn you inside out with my magic. (Munchkins stay silent) Now then. Where was I? Um okay, we went to school together at that Shiz place, which is where everything started out for us I guess...

_Switch to Shiz; lots of students walking around campus_

**Students:** (Spot Elphaba... she's kinda hard to miss you know?) Hey look, an ugly strange green girl! Let's laugh and point! (They do just that)

**Elphaba:** Bite me.

(Enter Galinda in all her spoiled splender)

**Galinda:** Look here everyone, it's wonderful me! Galinda speaking here! Everyone stare at me instead of the ugly walking green thing and admire my beautiful beauty! Go on, admire me already! Do it now!

**Students:** Okay, whatever you say. (Look at Galainda)

**Madame Morrible:** Okay strange green creature, you will be my magic student from now on then becasue I need one... and the rest of the students are too busy staring at Galinda to pay attention to what I am saying over here so that leaves you I guess.

**Elphaba:** Wicked fun, okay I'll do it. Then I can curse there stupid butts for making fun of me! (Laughs manically, lightning flashes; Madame Morrible steps back to a safe distance from Elphaba) Now I'm gonna sing about my idol, the Wizard. LalalathewizardandI! Lalala!

**Madame Morrible:** I'll pretend I didn't just see or hear that because I can. (Goes to walk away from Elphaba)

**Galinda:** (Wlaks over to Madame Morrible) What about me Madame Big Butt?

**Madame Big Butt... I mean Morrible (hee hee):** Well, room with the green girl, maybe she'll rub off on you.

**Galinda:** Yuck, I sure hope not.

_Switch to Galinda and Elphaba's dorm room_

**Galinda:** I hate you so much Green One.

**Elphaba:** Well, I loath you. Ha, better vocabulairy skills!

**Galinda:** Show off, with your little smart brainy things and all! No fair, using smart words against me when I obviously don't have a brain or independent thought in my head you meany! Fine, I'm off to flirt with everyone I come in contact with, goodbye butt ugly! (Runs to where everyone is gathered... again, for no reason whatsoever but to be there together... like a cult! Oh no, not a cult! AHHHHHHHHH! Sorry, back on to the story then) Hello its me again!

**Other Students:** Hey... whatever.

**Galinda:** I said Hello its me again! Be excited dang it!

**Students:** Yay, it's Galinda! Whoopie!

**Galinda:** Much better.

**Boq:** Hey pretty lady, mind if I droll all over you while I repeatedly tell you how hot you are?

**Galinda:** Yes, actually I do mind. Freakin' sort guy, you're so annoying me already and we haven't even talked more than three lines of dialog yet. (Turns at looks at the new person that just popped in) Look over there, its Fiyero the Winkie prince with a scandilous reputation from Winkieland or whereever the heck he's from! OMG! He's so dreamy! (faints... just kidding)

**Fiyero:** So what's up dudes and chicks? Now I'm gonna sing about how awesome it is to be juvinile and get kicked out of schools, okay? Shut up and listen.

**Galinda:** OMG, he's so dreamy! (Listens as Boq gags behind her back)

**Boq:** Whatever! he's so a poser!

**Galinda:** Hey Bick, take the girl in the wheelchair to the dance because I said so, okay? (Boq/Bick nods and runns off) Okay Hottie, you can have me then now that shortie's gone.

**Fiyero:** Cool, let's go make-out like the idiotic teenagers we are!

**Galinda:** No, wiat for the dance, I have to go be horrible to the Green Blob first. See you there. (Runs into Elphaba) Hey, where this dorky - I mean lovely hat to the dance. It so matches the rest of the black junk you wear, okay? Its a present so wear it or I'll hate you more than I already do.

**Elphaba:** Whatever Blonde. (Puts on hat) I like it. Cool.

_Switch to party_

(Galinda is making-out with Fiyero in a corner Boq/Bick is pushing Nessarosa around in her wheelchair and lying to her about why he's doing it... people party and do stupid stuff... you know, normal party stuff - just now with normal people we all know)

**Madame Morrible:** Galinda dear, you can take the witch classes too now. The green thing demands it becasue you were so cough cough nice to her eariler. Prove me wrong and do good. Goodbye, go back to kissing that one boy then, ta ta!

**Galinda:** Okay. (Makes-out with Fiyero again who seems more than happy to do it actually) Uh oh, trouble's here! (Elphaba pops in in the dorky hat and gets lauged at) I feel bad. (Dances like an idiot - Elphaba to make her feel better. Everone does it. Sappy moment. Yuck)

**Elphaba:** Thanks Galinda.

**Galinda:** What are friend's for? (Doesn't let Elphaba answer) You know what, I'm giving you a make-over.

**Élphaba:** Ypu don't have to -

**Galinda:** Yes I do, trust me. You look terrible. Sit still while I make you at least presentable.

()()()()()()()()PAGE BREAK!

Okay, first instalement. Hope you found it funny. I think it is.

The next section will be more of the story told this way... with only the important/more honest stuff then they said in the play.

Don't get the wrong Idea. This is so not what I think of Wicked - I LOVED it so much. This is just for fun.

Please review and tell me what you think! Ta ta for now! Until next time!


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry it took so long to put this chapter on and stuff... I was grounded off the phone and the internet for two whole excruciating weeks... hee he! I'm a real bad girl, I defy the law baby! Actually, this is the first time I've been grounded in about six or seven years and all because I walked to the local Ice Cream shop down the interstate! I know why I was grounded, it wasn't a responsible thing for me to do because I could have got hit by a car or something like that – but all I cared about was going to see my friends. Ha, I'm a friggin' goody two-shoes... and you can't guess how much I hate that! But I love my dear Mother too much to really act out, you know?

Okay... this second one will go all the way to where... I have no clue how far into the story this one will go actually... many the end and maybe not.

On with the show

**Wicked: Unplugged... again**

_The Old Crazy Goat... erm, I mean... Doctor Dillamond's classroom_

**Fiyero: Who can I hit on and flirt shamelessly with today? (Glance around at all the girls... and some of the hotter guys... and finally spots Elphaba as she walks in with all her emerald spender with Galinda's pink flower in her hair) Eh, it works well enough for me. She'll do for the day I suppose.**

**Student passing by: Fiyero, what about Galinda?**

**Fiyero: Galinda's not here now is she? And what Glinda doesn't know can't hurt her or damage her over inflated ego.**

**Student: Good point Fiyero. Oh well screw morality then, if you put it that way… Carry on then Fiyero... (Walks away so Fiyero can pursue Elphaba)**

**Elphaba: So then I toss my hair like this and next smile like this... I'm a giant green Barbie doll... (Sees Fiyero looking at her) What? Do I have something caught in my teeth again?**

**Fiyero: Hey there you gorgeous thing you! (Elphaba looks behind herself) Ha, very funny darling! Yes, I'm talking to you Elphaba, you beautiful green stem-like thing you are! You look kind of different today.**

**Elphaba: Yeah, I noticed that too.**

**Fiyero: Galinda brainwashed you and forced you into her blonde-headed ditzy zombie cheerleader shopp-o-holic cult didn't she?**

**Elphaba: Well I – (blinks rapidly, confused) WHAT!**

**Fiyero: Nothing, never mind that last comment. So yeah um, what's up?**

**Elphaba: NOTHING! (Extremely annoyed with Fiyero at this point) don't you have anyone better to chatter aimlessly with besides me? **

**Fiyero: Uh, no actually I don't.**

**Elphaba: Oh. Well, class is starting bye! (Goes to her seat, Fiyero follows and pushes the guy sitting in the desk next to her out of it) You're going to follow me around all the time now aren't you? (Fiyero nods his head vigorously) Oh well, at least you aren't a blonde with more annoying fashion tips for me to try out. **

**Fiyero: You're talking about Galinda aren't you? **

**Elphaba: Aren't you a bright one. Yes, I was talking about G-A-L-I-N-D-A.**

**Fiyero: (Trying to work out what Elphaba spelled) you were talking about garbage?**

**Elphaba: No, I wasn't talking about – yeah Fiyero. I was talking about garbage giving me fashion tips.**

**Student passing by: That would explain a lot! (Everyone but Elphaba and Fiyero laughs... so not technically everyone)**

**Fiyero: That was mean.**

**Elphaba: You get used to it after a while.**

**Fiyero: Really? You do?**

**Elphaba: No, you don't. (Madame Morrible walks in with an two Ozzian officials who shoot Doctor Dillamond with a tranquilizer dart and then drags him away) Holy crap what's going on? Since when can you people just shoot people with tranquilizer darts? **

**Fiyero: Silly Elphaba, we've always been able to do that, it's just frowned upon. (Madame Morrible walks out with one of the Oz officials)**

**Left over Oz Official: Okay let me be a jerk and teach you about a cage. (Pulls out a cage with a lion cub inside it) Go on, poke it with something.**

**Elphaba: Stop it! (Everyone goes loopy except Fiyero, Elphaba, and the lion cub... so once again checking the definition of 'everyone' in the dictionary we see in truth not everyone went loopy) Um, okay that works too. Not exactly 'freeze' but its good enough for the time being. (Grabs the cage and runs with it) You wanna come?**

**Fiyero: (Looks around at all the other students acting like sad little monkeys) Yeah, I think I'll come with you... no one's picking bugs out of MY hair! (Runs out with Elphaba) Coming! Hey, wait up would you?**

_Switch to the edge of the forest where Elphaba and Fiyero let the lion cub go. Fiyero has just become a spineless jellyfish and run off with Galinda... or should I say garbage?_

**Elphaba: Now I think I will just sit here in the rain under a tree and sing about how much it sucks to have your heart broken but insensitive guys now I guess until the rain stops anyways so I can go home instead of sitting under s friggin' tree...Lalala_Fiyeroreallysucks_lalala_Galindaalwaysgetswhatshewants_lalala... okay I'm done.**

**Madame Morrible: (walks in suddenly) Go see the stupid Wizard already would you? This is taking forever! Here, I'll even pay for the train ticket if you'll just go!**

**Elphaba: Fine! I'm going! (Slouches out)**

_Switch to train station; Elphaba and Galinda are standing on a platform_

**Glinda: Goodbye strange weird green friend of mine! (Galinda sobs into a pink hanky) Have fun in the Emerald City without me... LUCKY!**

**Elphaba: Goodbye self-obsessed Barbie-like friend of mine who took the 'A' out of her name because she could! (Hugs Glinda as Fiyero runs up) Oh hey Fiyero my prince-of-a friend with a scandalous reputation as Glinda here would say.**

**Fiyero: Okay... here you go Elphaba these are for you. (Hands Elphaba flowers as Glinda watches confused) This is awkward with Glinda here so... BYE! (Runs out as fast as possible)**

**Glinda: Oh my God! There's another woman, I just know it! Who do you think it is Elphaba?**

**Elphaba: (Giggles nervously) I have no idea who it could be.**

**Glinda: Maybe if I dyed my hair another color...**

**Elphaba: (Under her breathe) Like black...**

**Glinda: Or maybe if I changed my skin tone...**

**Elphaba: (Still under her breathe) Like to green...**

**Glinda: Did you say something? **

**Elphaba: (Not under her breathe this time) Uh, no I didn't say anything. You must be hearing things again Galinda like the time you thought the toast was talking to you but it was actually Boq hiding under the table trying to have a conversation with you, remember that? Well then, wanna go to the Emerald City with me?**

**Glinda: Um, sure I've always wanted to go shopping there! (Jumps on the train with Elphaba)**

_Switch the Emerald City streets where Glinda and Elphaba have just arrived_

**Glinda: Hey Elphaba, wanna sing about how total awesome this place is with me? Maybe we could get some of the locals to join in and have a giant street fair like thing?**

**Elphaba: No, but do I really have a choice in this Glinda?**

**Glinda: of course not silly, I just ask so I seem nicer! (Glinda starts singing. Elphaba sighs and then joins in. The local's who missed Glinda's previous comments join in anyways along with the ones who did hear Glinda's last comment) Hey, it worked!**

**Elphaba: Figures. (Guard walks over to them and tells them the Wizard wants to see them in his bachelor pad) Okay, come on Glinda! We're going to see the Wizard!**

**Glinda: Are you serious? He sounds so boring! Let's do something fun!**

**Elphaba: (thinking quickly as she can with Glinda bouncing and flouncing and doing anything else she could think of that ended with 'ouncing') Well, the Wizard wants to meet us at an awesome collage student party with lots of hot guys with their shirts off who all wanna dance with you... does that work?**

**Glinda: Heck yes it works! Outta my way, I gotta party to go to! (Drags Elphaba along after the guard who leads them to a building so not meant for parties. Glinda notices nothing... as usual) is this it? (Elphaba and the guard nod) Alright then, let's go Elphaba my green friend! The boy's are waiting for ME... I mean US! Wait, what am I saying? They are so totally waiting for me! (Grabs Elphaba by the arms and leads her into the Wizard's room... where there is NO PARTY! OH MY GOD, IMAGINE THAT!)**

**Giant Floating Head known as the WIZARD: All hail me! Bow down before me and tell me what the heck you two are doing here! NOW!**

**Elphaba: I came all the way to the Emerald City to get yelled at? No way! I could have called my Father if I wanted that or better yet – stayed at Shiz! Stupid floating head!**

**Giant Floating Head: You must be Elphaba! Madame Big Butt... um... Madame Morrible said you'd be coming today. (Frail looking old geezer comes out from behind the floating head) Hello there, I'm the REAL wonderful Wizard of Oz. **

**Glinda: Gross! It's old and wrinkly and far from wonderful! Um, I mean... gorgeous and handsome and really wonderful! And I swear I'm not sucking up... okay maybe I am but does it matter really? **

**Elphaba: So what's the business proposition? I better get a business proposition after how long it took to get here and how many stupid musical numbers I had to sing in on the way!**

**Wizard: How about do my magic for me? Here, hold my magic book like this and try to make this money fly. (Elphaba does just that and the monkey flies around the room) And I take all the credit and no one knows you exist... but you get great benefits and all holidays off.**

**Elphaba: Um, how about no?**

**Wizard: Great, Morrible sent me another freethinker! GUARDS GET RID OF THE GREEN GIRL-LIKE THING!**

**Elphaba: For calling the guards on me I'm stealing this magic book with a name no one can pronounce so even if they catch me they aren't sure if it's the right book or not and flying away on the janitor's broom to a place where you'll never find me like Chicago, there's a lot of people in Chicago! I plan to cause chaos and free Animals throughout the countryside to stir up a rebellion! Ha, catch me now suckers! (Flies away with the book just like she says and does exactly like she says she will... exactly down to the last letter even... and the last letter is an 'S' but the way so down to the very last 'S')**

_Switch to somewhere in Oz where Glinda is standing on a platform with Fiyero who is dressed like a prissy pants and Madame Morrible is dressed like someone with a huge butt. Yeah, right down there! Look right there, see it?_

**Glinda: Hey everyone, while the Witch aka Elphaba the green girl is out destroying Oz I'm having a party and you're all invited! Oh, and Fiyero and I are getting married!**

**Fiyero: We are?**

**Glinda: Of course silly! Just smile and wave Fiyero, SMILE AND WAVE! Good boy.**

**Fiyero: I don't get married. At least not to you Glinda.**

**Madame Morrible: Too bad pretty boy, I already ordered the cake!**

**Fiyero: Well, if you already ordered the cake... (Gives in to marrying Glinda)**

**Crowd's person:  The Witch is so wicked! Did you hear what she did now? She took away the free gift with purchase! Now you just purchase things without getting a gift!**

**Rest of the crowd: Oh no! Not the gift, anything but the gift! (The women sob uncontrollably over their lost gifts)**

**Fiyero: I just hate how mean they are. Elphaba would never really do that! She LOVES the free gifts she gets when she purchases something. I'm going to stomp off in a fit on misplaced rage. (Stomps off in a fit of misplaced rage)**

**Glinda: Alright dear, be back in time for dinner! (To assembled crowd) You know how those Winkie princes get, they need timeouts. Anyways, you all can go back to worshiping me, okay?**

**Munchkins and other assembled people pretending to be Munchkins so they could see Glinda: Alright! (Clears throats) we love you Glinda! You're so awesome! Yay Glinda! We love you so much Glinda!**

**Glinda: I love being me! **

()()()()()()Page Break! Yay!

Will Fiyero be back in time for dinner? Will someone figure out to pronounce 'The Grimmerie' I just did, huh. I actually have a copy of the Grimmerie my grandmother bought for me when we went and say Wicked last year. It's awesome! Lots of cool stuff inside including the script to the show! Yay!

Hope you liked this chapter. The next one will go all the way to the end of the play... I think... no, I KNOW! Mwahhahhaa! (Evil laugh for you there folks!) Review please and no hate-mail... or at least not a lot of hate-mail.


	3. Chapter 3

And then there were three chapters. The one we've all been waiting for. Not really but okay. This chapter with stretch to the end of the play so lots of words in this one! Yay for words! We love you Words!

On with the show… erm, play!

**Wicked: Unplugged and Ready for the Last Run**

_Set in the fancy-shmancy Governor's mansion for the short Munchkin creatures_

**Nessa Rose: I love being in charge of all the little Munchkins things! (Boq walks in carrying a margarita for Nessa Rose. Boq just so happens to be dressed in only his Shiz University boxers… on Nessa Rose's orders of course.) Yeah, really love being in charge!**

**Boq: Glad SOMEBODY likes having you in charge! All the Munchkins – including myself of course – HATE having you in charge!**

**Nessa Rose: Quiet slave! I mean my darling little Boqy-Woqy! Um, that's the wrong color margarita, I want a pink one. (Boq sighs heavily and leaves to get Nessa Rose her preferred color of drink. As soon as he leaves Elphaba flies in) Oh my GOD! Elphaba flew here, right here into the Governor's mansion? Oh no, if anyone sees you here they'll all hate me for sure!**

**Elphaba: Everyone already hates you little sister, they're just too polite to tell you so to your face.**

**Nessa Rose: Oh… well they'll hate me MORE than they do now if they find you here! Get the hell out!**

**Elphaba: Fine, be that way! I'll just let myself out. (Turns to leave but stops at the door) Before I go, here's a present for you little sister. (Puts a spell on her sister's silver slippers so they turn ruby red)**

**Nessa Rose: What did you do to them? They're so appallingly bright and gaudy! They won't match any of my other clothes! (Nessa Rose stands up feeling irritate and walks around the room) Wait, I can walk now? Since when can I walk?**

**Elphaba: It's the shoes. Why else would I make the shoes that wretched color for? The red rubies are what makes it so you able to walk. Would you like me to turn them back?**

**Nessa Rose: Oh no, I like them like this! I love ruby! Ruby slippers are the new silver slippers, I swear.**

**Elphaba: Good. Oh crap, Boq's coming back! (Hides under the desk) **

**Boq: (Sees Nessa Rose standing on her own) What the… YES! You won't need me anymore, I'm free to go and stalk Glinda! See you later babe!**

**Nessa Rose: We'll just see about that! (Grabs Elphaba's spell book which just so happens to be sitting on the ground and cast one over Boq – which turns out to be particularly nasty since she can't pronounce anything)**

**Boq: Ah! Oh no! (keels over dead as a doornail)**

**Nessa Rose: Crap, dead bodies usually make the voters hate you. Oh Elphie dear, wanna help me fix him?**

**Elphaba: (sighs as she climbs out from under the desk) Might as well help out. (Turns Boq into a chicken) How's that?**

**Nessa Rose: Chicken's annoy me, the cluck too much. How about a walking talking tin can man? It's fun to say! Walking-talking-tin-can-man! La la la! **

**Elphaba: If it makes you stop singing, sure. (Turns Boq into a walking talking tin can man, or The Tin Man for short) Gotta fly off now, ta ta! (Does what she says she will as usual)**

**The Tin Man: What happened to me Nessa Rose? Did you do this?**

**Nessa Rose: Of course not… um it was Elphaba! Yeah, she did it!**

**The Tin Man: Okay, The Wicked Witch of the West did it! Time to hold a pep rally! (leaves to go arrange a pep rally with pitchforks and torches – you know, normal pep rally stuff)**

_Switch to The Wizard's roomy-type-thing again_

**Wizard: I love my little flying monkeys! (Elphaba flies in and scares the crap out of him) Ah! The Wicked Witch of the West is here to kill me, eat my liver and suck my brain out through a straw! HELP ME!**

**Elphaba: One, shut up already the screaming is so giving me a killer headache. And two, YUCK! Why would I suck your nonexistent brain out of a straw? **

**Wizard: I don't know. But it sounded cool didn't it?**

**Elphaba: I guess you're right there, it did sound pretty cool. Okay, back to why I came here. Set the monkey's go!**

**Wizard: If you work for me and become my pimp-manager. You can be in charge of all my pimps, okay?**

**Elphaba: Cool, I get to be a pimp-manager! (Sees Doctor Dillamond) What the… Oh I know him! Oh my God, you did this to him! Forget the pimps damn it, I'm gonna pimp-slap you – the deal is so off!**

**Wizard: Fine! Guards, get your fat donut-eating buts in here! (hides behind his big head machine thing as Fiyero and the donut-eating guard come in the doors)**

**Elphaba: (prepares for a fight but stops when she sees Fiyero standing there in front of her in his uniform looking gorgeous as usual) Hey, it's the unintelligent hottie… um I mean Fiyero! **

**Fiyero: It's sexy green girl… I mean Elphaba!**

**Donut-Eating Guard: Anybody want a donut?**

**Elphaba and Fiyero: NO! (Glinda heard the noise and burst in – uninvited as usual)**

**Fiyero: Hey dude, take this twenty bucks and go buy you some more donuts. And bring me a glass of water to melt the Witch when you're done. (Fat guard rushes off with the money) Elphaba, we finally found you!**

**Elphaba: Actually I found you but okay. Whatever. (Hugs Glinda and then hugs Fiyero even longer and tighter… and it looks so much cuter)**

**Fiyero: Can I run away with you please?**

**Glinda: Um Fiyero, you're engaged to me remember? I have a ring and a cake and a fifty foot ice sculpture of us and everything!**

**Fiyero: That's what refunds are for. Engagement is off, goodbye! (leaves with Elphaba for the forest of creepy spider-web-like-vines)**

**Glinda: Well this sucks. (Madame Big Butt walks in and the Wizard comes out from his hiding place) Go after her sister, she'll do whatever you want her to do if you kidnap her sister, believe me. I'm in a bad mood so I'll be in my dressing room with the music louder than it needs to be for the next day or so. Bye.**

_Switch to the forest of creepy spider-web-like-vines_

(I was asked NOT to make fun of this bit by someone so… we're gonna skip part of this bit. My dear reviewer who requested I don't make fun of this – and you know who you are – this is for your sanity)

**Elphaba: Gee that was fun. Let's do that again sometime, okay?**

**Fiyero: Heck yes we'll do that again! Hey look, a flying house!**

**Elphaba: I gotta go to my sister. She needs me right now!**

**Fiyero: Am I really that bad?**

**Elphaba:** **No, you're awesome Fiyero it's just that my sister Nessa Rose actually needs me. (Flies off only to find her sister already dead) Shoot, too late! (cries over her sister's grave; Guards come to capture her but Fiyero pops out of the cornfield to save her)**

**Glinda: (who once again pops up uninvited) Hold the phone for a second! Elphaba, run away right now and save yourself. Fiyero, come with me and we can get married like I always wanted. Guards, go eat some donuts. Problems all solved!**

**Fiyero: Better plan. Elphaba dear, run away while Glinda doesn't get what she wants and I fight these guards to the death.**

**Elphaba: As long as you don't die I like the second plan better. Sorry Glinda but I love him too much to see him marry you. (runs out as fast as she can while Glinda watches as Fiyero is tied up and stuck on a pole in the cornfield to die) **

**Glinda: Normally I'd save Fiyero at a time like this… but I don't feel like it today. Elphaba's last comment really stung me.**

_Switch to The Tin Man's pep rally with pitchforks and torches_

**The Tin Man: Okay, here's the condensed version for you: We all hate the Wicked Witch of the West therefore we are gonna go kill her with these pitchforks and torches. End of the pep rally, everyone follow me! (crowd follows all grumbling about how short the pep rally was after all the money they had to pay to get a ticket and a pitchfork or torch)**

**(While The Tin Man holds a pep rally that is really short Elphaba casts a spell to try and save Fiyero's life but instead it turns him into a Scarecrow. Ironic isn't it?)**

_Switch to Elphaba's lair-castle room_

**Elphaba: I hate kids. I just want to kill you and take my sister's shoes back from you. Glinda gave them to you because she wants revenge because I stole her boyfriend. Was it really that bad for me to steal her boyfriend? No, but she gives the shoes away like a jerk! (rants and raves until Glinda comes in) Oh hello Glinda my dear! Nice to see you again.**

**Glinda: Is Fiyero dead then? (Elphaba nods; Glinda obviously isn't reading the script I gave her last week) That sucks, he was so hot! What will the world do with such a loss as Fiyero's hotness on its conscious?**

**Elphaba: You know what Glinda? No, you don't, I haven't told you just yet what I'm talking about because that information is in the next line. You take over the magic biz for me. It's tiring and boring and… I have other things to do. (Elphaba is obviously thinking of the great trip to Hawaii that Fiyero planned for the two of them once they ditched Glinda)**

**Glinda: Can we sing about how great it is to be friends before the angry mob comes to kill you? I passed the in my pink bubble on my way up here. **

**Elphaba: Sure, let's sing about our friendship before the kill me. (Elphaba and Glinda sing together then Elphaba shoves Glinda behind a curtain so no one can see her and supposedly dies due to having water dumped on her head)**

**Glinda: She's dead… I want my hideous hat back then! (Grabs the hat and leaves)**

**Fiyero the Scarecrow Man: (Walks in and helps Elphie out from under the trapdoor she was hiding under) So my dear lover Elphie, Hawaii then? I got great tickets.**

**Elphaba: Hawaii it is! **

**()()()()The End()()()()**

Hope you liked this spoof of Wicked and all my hideously corny jokes… which I made corny for the fun of it. I wasn't even really trying to be funny, but sometimes by not trying you can be even funnier than when you do try to be. At least I think so. Please review! Need I remind you this is the last chapter for thei story so please take this last chance to review for me.


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